Wednesday, June 3, 2009

History Repeated

(What follows is a craigslist blurb I posted advertising a room to rent in NYC, and some of the 50+ responses...)


$740 Prospect Park - Great 1BR in a 2BR

Good day,

I'm writing today with a terrifi-COMMUNIST MANIFESTO!-terrific offer on a nice apartment in Prospect Pa-MAGNA CARTA DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE!- Prospect Park.

The bedroom you'd be renting is approxima-THE 95 THESES!-roughly 18x12, so you can see it's very large.

We have air conditi-FEDERALIST PAPERS COMMON SENSE ARTICLES OF CONFEDERATION!-conditioning, heat in the winter, and a large kitchen and bathro-TENNIS COURT OATH!-bathroom.

The only catch is that I have a rare for-BAYEUX TAPESTRY! US CONSTITUTION!-a rare form of Tourette's Syndrome where I loudly shout famous historical documents.

If this is no problem and you're interested, send me an-GUTTENBERG BIBLE! PARIS PEACE TREATY! THE ORIGINAL TEXT OF BEOWULF!- ahem...send me an e-mail.


Joe says...

I don't mind the Tourette's as the place sounds great. Would it be possible to come see it sometime soon?

Stan says...

I read your Craigslist description and had a few
questions. What utilities have to paid monthly, and
what would the share be for that? Do you have any
photos of the place? If you have any questions about
me, feel free to ask. Thanks and good luck with your

Matt says...

Ye Gods, I seek an apartment with a lunatic! Maybe lunatic is too strong a word...maybe you are laying the groundwork for a truly understanding roommate...or maybe this is some massive joke - I can't tell...I've never seen an ad like that and I'm not sure how seriously to take it.

Eric says...

My uncle is the specialist for treating such pathologies, but he only deals with French events unfortunately...

Atiba says...

My name is Atiba and I'm writing in response to your ad about the
Prospect Park apartment share. I'm a 28-year-old gay guy getting my
Ph.D. in American history at NYU (which might make me uniquely capable
of sympathy for your... um... condition).

Anyway, I would be interested in meeting you, observing your condition
at firsthand, and getting a look at the bedroom that's available.

Annie says...

Is the original text of Beowulf technically a famous historical document? I mean, I know that some of the later texts of Beowulf are, but the original??
I'm interested in the room.
Speaking of the Magna Carta, did you know that Ross Perot bought an original copy in England?

Melanie says...

I am a swiss girl, coming for an intern in home yet...desperate but not housewife, gutemberg did I write you. The only treaty I know is: l'abolition des droits de M.Bush au gouvernement americain!

Elsa says...

I'm sure you'll be getting many responses, considering how reasonable the rent is, although maybe not, considering the exuberant posting, but I thought I'd give it a shot anyway.

David says...

Tourettes is a very Dada disorder......and I'm cool with that. Can I see the room?

Kevin says...

The room sounds great and if it is still available I'd like to check it out. As far as the yelling is concerned, I usually scream out names of Kosher Delis when I'm sleeping, maybe we can combine our outbursts and form a whole psychological condition people will need pills for.

I can see it now "Hey how's the WIENSTIEN"S DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE new job treating you."

Koa says...

I just read your posting on CL.. sounds like it could be a good match. I have no problem with your historical outbursts.

David says...

It's a very sad state of affairs when I wish this wasn't a joke.

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