Nether-Nether Lands

(What follows is a craigslist blurb I posted advertising a room to rent in NYC, and some of the 50+ responses...)


THE POST


$750 Want Holland Roommate?? (West Village)

Yes hello! How are everyone today??!

My name is Z. Nordegaard, and maybe you be my future roommate, what? Okay! Sometime if I will say the whole first name when I get you to buy my rent. Next!

Several two things about me: I am so tall (almost six foots fore!) and have the red hair. But not so red as the carrot top I hope! But seriously, he is FREAKING funny. Back at me: I am from Holland last Tuesday, maybe one to two years before. I went to college in America for to journalist. Only three years, and there oh man many beautiful ladies!

I want you to live with me, and why! Here is my room: twenty metres square area, fairly big for a village, and? Okay. The bed is already in unless you want new sheets which I provide. Or you buy yourself. In the hallways is Indian from the old cigar store type. Hi-yi-yi-yi, yes! He doesn't hurt I promise! At night maybe he come to life NO JUST KIDDING!

Big room is cheap. Are you down to party? I have colored paper over the lights for partying inside a house. Some alcohol, yes so don't come being to say "drinking is SO evil blah blah wahhhhh!"

Utility are included here, for extra price of maybe fifty dollars most at a month. You have air condition. I am to journalism so at night and day I work sometimes for the papers in Holland writing articles about AWESOME New York!!! Be quiet maybe.

I like beautiful girls, who won't, though? But okay for guys as well, maybe if they know beautiful girls and can bring them to the house for sleepovers (NOT WITH ME SILLY).

Or maybe with me, if we are to being honest (I hope you see joke).

Do we have trying all the time at music? Not at nights, please! Oh man so loud making me want to explode my own HEAD!

Trust me I am good at the roommate so e-mail if you're wanting to see around. Ask any my friends, they say "Nordegaard is all the time ready for fun!" Want to inspire at the good life? You know where to e-mail, is me. Keep your buckles belting tight.

Hoping to should talk with you soon new amigo (oh man all the time joking I don't speak Spanish – I do NOT speak it, I mean truly).

Move to my friend-pad at September first. No negotiatings!



THE RESPONSES


Michael says...

Hi Nordegaard,

I am sorry but I have to tell you the bad news first - I am German -> but up 'til now I never had problems with any dutch guy that I met during my various travels - so why should I get in trouble with you (just kiddin' haha)?

Please forget your stereotype of a boring, Kraut-eating German and think about a open-minded funny person that could bring back some European spirit to your live.


Jorge says...

Hi my name is Jorge and I want to be your room mate! Please give me a call or send me an email! I am six foot five, so I know how it is to be tall...I also know alot of tall ladies : )


Veronica says...

Your posting was so funny! You sound really fun!

About me, I am a 23 year old straight female. I work in advertising for a website called About.com. So, not sure if you know about advertising, but it’s really work hard play hard so I can definitely tell you that I do not think alcohol is EVIL!! :)


Jeremy says...

Heyy Nordegaard!! are you still looking for a chill roommate who loves to have fun? I think I am your guy!


Rodridgo says...

Holland roommate, YES! My name is Rodrigo. I just saw your posting. I from chile, live in NY for 8 years. I was working in amsterdam for a year. made great friends. I need to move by sept. 1st. I got the money and I'm also cool, and nice to be with around.


E.S. says...

Hey Nordegaard,
Nou, een Nederlandse kamergenoot, misschien niet zo gek voor mijn mensen thuis, zodat ik minder kans maak op een "American Accent" die het slecht doet op feestjes....


Diana says...

i want you to know that people are forwarding around your ad bc it's so funny! hilarious!
we should hang out sometime and i'll introduce you to my sexy girl friends!


Adam says...

Hi Nordegaard. My name is Adam, and I'm interested in the
room you posted on Craig's List. I recently graduated
college, and have several foreign friends, so I would
be more than happy to live with you and help you
understand what America's all about.


Natalie says...

I came across your ad for a room for rent, and it (along with you) sound great!
I am helping my friend Monika (notice the "k") find a room in New York, so I thought I would jump on the opportunity to respond to you before another beautiful lady grabs your attention!

Also, this girl is down to party! Another catch, I will be visiting Monika at least once this year, and I am about as American as they get! I'm a Midwestern Lady with perfect hips and a gorgeous smile. I will send your carrot top through the roof!


Gabriela says...

well, if you're actually looking
for a roommate i would like to meet you and see your
place. i'm a straight good looking woman working in
advertising as an art director. originally i'm from
eastern europe so i also have a cute accent.


Josh says...

I have lived all over the world and have learned to coexist with most anyone. I like to party somtimes. And sometimes I dont. I like women from turkey, wine from burgundy, and tobacco from Virginia.